Gorilla What?

How easy it is. We find something we feel passionate about and become the worst form of ourselves. Not the version you would find at a family gathering or an intimate evening with friends. No, the worst version of ourselves comes out when we find ourselves challenged and we disagree- but we have the safety of a computer screen. I am not immune to stupidity.

I found myself- in the midst of all the opinions about who was to blame for a child falling into a Gorilla exhibit at a zoo- in a crazy thread between myself and a friend on Facebook. We both hid behind our computer screens and typed/shouted at one another about a Gorilla and a child. I am not eloquent enough, or timely, to really express what I think. This mom did a pretty good job. 

That being said, I was not the best version of myself that day. I was self righteous that day, opinionated, and confident in my opinion. It wasn't a wrong opinion, but it wasn't right either. I demanded if the person I was speaking to enjoyed judging people- all the while judging her myself. It ended with us not being friends on Facebook anymore - as if that is a testament to weather or not we're really friends.

At first, I told my husband that I felt really terrible for blocking this person, and for saying the things I said, truthful as they may have been. But he said something profound to me. 

"Don't think about it as if it's losing a friend. Think about it like letting go of a person who doesn't help you be the best person you can be. If you are your worst version of yourself with them, then is it worth it to be like that; even online?"

Wow. Thanks husband for holding the mirror up to nature. It wasn't that she was terrible. It's that I was terrible responding to her. Whatever our disagreements, they are completely irrelevant. To be the best person, and the best mom I can be... before I judge any other mom or caretaker, I have to take a long hard look at myself and find my own short comings. Because my own fault doesn't justify me being cruel.

So for being cruel, I apologize. I apologize to you, dear reader, because she may never read this. And because I may have at some point been cruel to someone just like you. I didn't mean to be, but I was. We all have those days we need to atone for. I'm trying hard to be a better person, I don't always succeed. But today, almost a week after a poor kid fell into a Gorilla exhibit, lets be kind to one another and remember that we're all human.

Movie Monday: The Art of Falling

I started this blog last week, and the page is still blank. So whatever I thought I was going to write, well obviously that didn't happen.

So today, what does that mean? The Art of Falling.

In my world, the best artists are the ones who face fear and step forward. Sometimes it means you soar to new heights. Sometimes you fall flat. On your face. I know I did, very recently and in a very big way. I had this vision for what could be accomplished if we gathered a million people together to give just $1. The concept was presented to my entire team and we asked them for feedback. I told them that the risk was very real that we might just fail. They said game on.

What is interesting to me is that the moment the last second ticked by, my team said "What's next?" It was a surreal feeling to have. We knew that what we had been working on hadn't worked the way we expected. But rather than throwing in the towel, the team came together and began formulating what was the next course of action. We're still figuring it out a bit as we go. But we have a plan. I'll tell you how it goes.

Movie Monday: Just Say No to Whitewashing

Me in the short form western I wrote.

Ok, I get that it's Tuesday but I was filming yesterday so there you go. Here it is, this weeks Movie Monday!

I think I need to preface this by stating two things. One: I'm a ginger-glow-in-the-dark white girl. I write screenplays, sometimes with myself in mind because they are roles I want to play. It is the only role I write with a particular race in mind because, as mentioned before, I glow in the dark. Two, I strive for diversity in my films as much as humanly possible. As I've grown as a writer and producer, I make a point of seeking actors I may not know at first to fill every role. I write full back stories for even the most minor of roles and honor the heritage of whomever we cast- don't believe me look at this cast I've assembled for my next feature. 

That's said, here we go.

There are some people who believe that a great actor can play any role. I disagree. A gifted actor can play any role...except when the character's race or gender is explicit to who they are. Audiences would not accept a white actor playing Martin Luther King Jr.- a stage production recently learned that the hard way. Nor would they accept a person of color playing Abraham Lincoln or Princess Diana.

While these are historical figures, the problem remains when a popular work of literature- let's say Ghost in the Shell- is a Japanese story but being made by an American studio. By casting a different race, you ignore the history behind the character that defines them.

So, let's talk about the whitewashing that is Hollywood. We all know who the big culprit is. The studios, for whatever reason- Freddy Wong has a good guess- decide that they need a star to fill their title role. They don't do a simple Google search to find a few of the zillion results for "Top 40 Asian Actresses" or anything like that. That's too hard. Let's cast someone "recognizable" which is studio code for white... also, Max Landis can bite me. 

Forget for a moment that a fan favorite like Ghost in the Shell is even being made in the first place BECAUSE of the fan following. That is to say the bankable reason it will make money is because of the fans it already has- fans who love and understand that it is a Japanese story. And the studio KNEW that, because they did this horrible thing.

We know this sin, because we've seen it time and time again. We can get angry and rant about the studios all we want. Yet they still sit comfortably behind iron gates in ivory towers, laughing at us while they count their money. You're still all going to see the movie so they don't care if you're pissed about casting.

So let's talk about someone who CAN be held account for it. Someone who CAN tell the studios this is wrong.

The actors.

The actor has a responsibility to themselves and to the fans to ask the question "am I right for this role"? Because that is the way this stops. That is the only way the studios figure out that there are talented actors of all colors and shapes and ages. When the actors they approach to play beloved roles say, sorry I don't think that I'm right for this role.

I get it, I do. The studio offered you $10 million to take the role. That would be hard to pass up. Except you're an actor, a pretty good one at that. You likely got into acting for the craft or fun of it. Because lord knows most actors never make the kind of money being offered here. Most actors decided to get into acting because they enjoy the art of telling a good story through crafting a character that is so real your audience forgets the actor and believes.

So if you're taking the $10million it's not for the art of it. You're in it for the money which is fine. But don't lie to the fans- or yourself- and tell us it's because the role was so special for you. If that were true, Scarlett, you would have politely told the studios something like this:

 "I'm honored you would think of me, but I really feel Koyuki Kato or Keiko Kitagawa would be better suited for this role- they are Japanese after all. Hey, Keiko was in Fast and the Furious, I'm sure your marketing team could use that. Or event better, what about Rinko Kikuchi? She was in Pacific Rim and did an amazing job! But if you really need a "face" Americans will recognize- though I should mention she's Chinese, not Japanese- Ziyi Zhang would be great! Remember her in Memoirs of a Geisha? We totally did this cross casting an Asian actress for a face Americans knew thing before. Call her up!"

Seriously, ANY of these fabulous women would have been a better choice.

But until you do that actors, I'm calling you out Scarlett. You should have said no to the role. You too Emma Stone. Please do not try to explain it (Cameron Crowe). If you have to justify it, you have to ask yourself why you went with that casting in the first place. Don't think I forgot you Tilda. Or you Gerard Butler and Nikola. ESPECIALLY you Johnny Depp, I don't care how much "native" blood you have. You're on my list. There are too few studio films- and even fewer quality roles- that go to minorities, particularly Asian or Native actors.

You do the whole industry a disservice by taking roles that were NOT meant for you.

Studios don't tell me you can't find one because you didn't look hard enough. It took me 5 minutes to compile my list. Five. Minutes.

Actors it's your turn. Stand up for your fellow actors. Say no to whitewashing.

Movie Monday: In Those We Trust

A few years ago I made a short film, a steampunk western that was just about 10 minutes long. Lots of people asked if I'd be turning it into a feature, but I didn't have the resources so I kept putting it off. I finally got the script finished early last year, and I had it read at SIFF. 

SIFF reading with some rad talent!

All the Firefly fans in the room promptly lost their minds. (Don't judge, I somehow had not seen Firefly until they told me that my work reminded them of that. I'm now obsessed and lamenting Fox Studio's foolishness with the rest of you.)

But after all that work, I sort of lost the wind in my sails. Then, last summer, my younger brother died suddenly in a motorcycle accident. 

He was only 28 years old.

I made a vow to not wait anymore.

Jared surprising me with a speech at my wedding.

So I'm making a feature length Steampunk film. It has horses, a steam train, and even pirate ships. My producing partners somehow managed to lock all of those in already. Now, we just need YOU. People who know and love film. Who understand the adventure, and the endless possibilities built in that world. 

Check out what I'm doing here.  There is an incredibly diver team of all walks, races, genders and faiths. I would love for you to join us. We need YOUR help sharing it, growing our fan base and building this film from the ground up.

Long Distance Vision

When I sit on a panel at the Seattle Film Summit or any film festival, I often feel like I’m talking at the air. Hopefully something I say has weight and sticks. I mean I really hope someone in the audience will glean useful tips towards making their own films. This week I spoke to 9^th graders in Walla Walla, WA, a place largely untouched by the film community. If teaching teenagers is difficult on a regular day, trying to impress upon them how every classes they’re currently in can relate to film was a challenge.  But the take away, for them and for us, is the long-term investment.

For kids in high school, their goals are simple: take enough classes to graduate, get marks high enough to get into the college of their choice, begin the steps towards a career in something that interests them. I guarantee none of them think of their day to day like that. And even fewer filmmakers do. But that’s exactly what I have learned over our last five years as an independent filmmaker.

I cannot tell you how many green filmmakers come to us with an “idea”.  It’s usually a grand idea for them, and often very personal. It’s also not a very interesting story to a wider audience. Two people in a coffee shop is super easy to film, it’s also super boring. My husband and I partnered in film about five years ago. Since then, we’ve seen dozens of shorts and one feature through. We made a pact that we would only make films we wanted to see. So when a filmmaker comes to us with a dull story the first thing we ask them is “why do you want to tell this story?” If they can’t answer that question, we pass. If their answer is blasé, we pass.  If they have no intention of putting in any of the work to make it happen, you guessed it, we pass.

Filmmaking is not a quick turn around. Often there are long hard hours in development, pre-production and post can drag on for months or even years. The production- actually filming- is probably the most exciting phase but it’s also the shortest. For our first feature we were in development and fundraising for five months, shot for 18 days and post for a year. Three years later and a lot of tough-love-learning as we went, we have a UK and US distributor and are finally seeing fruit of our labor. 

Think about that for a minute. Over a year and a half to actually MAKE the movie. Another year and a half to see the film into distribution. That’s the equivalent of spending the whole of your high school or college years with a single goal in mind.  If you are not interested in the film your making, or it’s a dull story, can you imagine pouring 3 years of your life into it? My guess is no.

We also never stopped. Even though our feature was in post, we kept going. We made three more shorts and a music video to follow up. My husband snagged a feature and a short film in post and we both worked on a couple dozen commercials. All while continuing to pursue a course for our first feature. It’s paid off. This fall we will see our first feature film in distribution, and have the road paved for our next feature.

There were three points we left our students with and I’ll share them with you here.

1. Learn Everything You Can.  Every class you take can relate to a career in film. It’s impossible to tell a student whose favorite class is gym that they have a career in film, but they do. Ever seen a Marvel movie? Able-bodied individuals with a passion for athleticism are going to have healthy careers making movies. I reexamined my US History courses writing my last screenplay and I am constantly in needed of people who excel in math to help me budget our films. The student with a passion for cooking is able to cater my film and the student who really only cares about computers can program my special FX.  I’m constantly reading books and blogs from those who have gone before and I learn something new from all of them. Never stop learning, and always embrace the little things. You never know when you might need that course you once took on geometry to measure the distance and angle from your camera to your subject.

2.  Define Your Success.  The allure of the red carpet and an Academy Award is difficult to resist. It’s also not the truth for the majority of filmmakers. But success can be. I’m reading a book currently by a filmmaker you’ve never heard of, who earns a comfortable living making and selling films.  There’s a documentary on Netflix titled I Know That Voice about actors whom you probably know but couldn’t pick out of a line up.  Filmmakers in my hometown have screened their films at Sundance and Toronto and Cannes. They’ve sold those same films to Netflix or you can watch them on any of your digital devices. I know them- but you probably do not. My husband and I are full time filmmakers, and it’s probably this is the first time you’ve heard of me.  What we all have in common is that we work as filmmakers, and have done so for several years.  Success is not defined by how famous you are. It is defined by the quality of work you have created that allows you to continue providing for yourself and your future.

3. The Long Road. We were very naïve as filmmakers when we set out. We made a single short film our first year. The second year we made 3. The next? Eight shorts and one feature. It took time to plan them all. It took time to see them finished. It took time to see any sort of return on them. But we kept working, kept pushing and continued to follow through to the end of each goal.  It’s been a three year process to get our first feature into distribution. The short films all ended up online, and we’ve made some money off of all of them.  It took patience and perseverance to follow through. If you give up after the first rejection letter or the first project that falls through, you’ll never see the end of the road. The writer/director of The Fifth Element had that script for fifteen years before it became a reality.  Now he has 56 writing credits and 21 directing credits. Kathryn Bigelow directed for thirty years (some pretty amazing films) before the Academy recognized her work.

The same thing I told those 9^th graders is what I’d like to leave you with.  Find your passion, find your voice and keep going. The future belongs to those who move forward.

Life's Curve Balls Stink Like... Well, Balls

I had a plan. It was a beautiful plan. Go to Spokane away from all distractions and write. It was simple, clean and everything I needed to be an effective and creative writer.

Then sometimes, life has other plans.

For the first several days, I did not get more than 2 pages written. Because as an independent filmmaking team, we often write our own contracts. They're typically straightforward and to the point of "if you do this we do this and we all agree to this." I think 5 pages might be the longest contract we've ever written with some very specific points of definition in them. It was several days of hashing those out, and to satisfy our investors, we are still working on them, negotiating terms so that our expectation are fully established in ink before we move forward. But the work had to be done.

I got a little more writing and a surprise visit from my husband and daughter for our 4th Wedding Anniversary. It was a beautiful and appreciated relief from all that legal and business jargon I loathe so much. But it was out to the farm very shortly after where I could write, ride, and shoot as needed.

Nope. Family, allergies that kicked my rear and other business to attend to.

I quickly found a way to get myself away from it all with no phone, no email, no nothing but the sweet sound of clickety-clack of my keyboard. I got 30 pages in. I was on FIRE! It was amazing, to know that it wasn't my inability to write through writers block, it was so many distractions I couldn't focus. Glorious day!

Too bad the bed at the lake is so awful I threw out my back. I mean big time. I couldn't walk, was sort of tipped to one side and really the only position remotely comfortable was sitting... for about 5 seconds before I was in pain again. Back to town for some medical evaluations.

It took nearly 4 days, a bottle of anti-inflammatories a chiropractic visit and a massage therapy session to get to a place where sitting/standing/sleeping was not painful. I went back to the lake, alone and prepared to write. I had a day and a half by myself before the family would join me for the 4th. I got 20 pages in.

So now, I'm back in Seattle. Been here a few days with my 50 pages I was able to accomplish in the 4 days I had of actual writing time. Not bad if I do say so myself. Now, for the last 40....

Back Against the Wall, Now WRITE

It's funny how sometimes it takes a moment where you're back is against the wall before you really have to make a change- or choice.

That was us, not very long ago.  Try as we might, we simply could not sustain a constant flow of work. Meaning we'd have a really great month then three where we were pinching penny's.  One month where filmmakers were coming to us will all sorts of ideas (and budgets) and we helped them making the ideas a reality. Then zilch.

Then a very unfortunate situation happened and a client we had been paid our first fee by, who had large ambitions but very little understanding of how the industry worked lost his gumption when he finally realized that he was not going to nail the A-list talent he wanted without throwing down serious cash. The film was abandoned and all the work we had prepared for vanished. Or rather, got filed on a shelf labeled "well that was interesting" to be pulled out an admired anytime we get too big for our britches.

So we're back to having our backs against the wall. Work trickles in or it pours in, there is no in between. Filmmaking is not the glamorous party every night that people imagine it to be.

Then, as if by lighting strike, we both decided that it was time to stop waiting for others to hire us and simply make our own work. Because that's how we started out. We made our own work.

There's been this film, a short that needs to be a much longer film by all accounts everywhere we've taken it. And it's been a few places. Festivals, private screenings, more festivals, and finally settled on IndieFlix where all 6 minutes of glory can be watched again and again for whomever wants to.

A steampunk western. A Short. That should be a feature. Well, alright Universe. Let's get cracking.

Here I am in Spokane, on a "writers retreat" working on the script. Next week I'll be in Rosalia learning how to shoot black powder rifles (think civil war era) and revisiting my horseback skills. But today, Writing.


I'll see you on the flip side.

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